Sunday, December 7, 2008

Who You Calling a COUGAR turkey?

COUGAR: A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path.
A cougar cannot be defined in a simple definition. One cannot consciously seek out a cougar. One can only prepare himself/herself for confirming the positive identity of a cougar by familiarizing himself/herself with the common signs/traits of the cougar. Once one instinctively feels the potential presence of a cougar on the prowl, he/she can fall back on what he/she knows about cougars in general to positively confirm and report a cougar sighting.
Here are the most common signs/traits that your instincts may have accurately identified a cougar nearby:
1. A single woman over 30 appears to be at least 51 months older than she is biologically.
2. A single woman over 30 is talking to your 25 year-old ass about tunes on "Pyromania" and you're able to keep the conversation rolling with your knowledge of "The Vault" and interest in her white high-tops.
3. A single woman over 30 is overheard talking to a group of college men about how she used to date a college guy when she was in 7th grade because the color of his Camaro was the same as her back pocket comb.
From the urban dictionary:
Cougar
An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf.
Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.
Example:
That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.

No comments:

Post a Comment